Adam by Eve: A Live in Animation (2022)

I try to remain unbiased when giving a rating. I THINK I stumbled a little in this one. There are three storylines that play parallel to each other: what goes on in the Real World, what goes on in the Dream World, and what goes on in… Heterochromia World? RW tells its story quite conventionally and centres around two girls whose names seem to change in the beginning, either Hanon and Ano or Taki and Aki. The “movie” (can be seen as an audio-visual product) refers to them as Taki and Aki. The two girls have a strong friendship that borderlines towards lesbian at times (it seems to be more like a platonic relationship rather than a romantic one in my opinion… definitely closer than friends but still a platonic relationship as there’s nothing sexual).

DW is presented in an, obviously, very surreal way with lots of animation and live-action interspliced, and it is arguably the main narrative. The RW segments are mostly told via flashbacks after all. Then, there’s the HW segments which are rather self-contained. There are fun little references to Eve’s work, especially the manga series Kara no Kioku (Empty Memories). Despite the fact the DW storyline is the main narrative, the HW segments take up the most time in this experience.

So why am I slightly biased? Well, I’m a fan of anime. I am familiar with Japanese culture. I’m also a fan of movies such as Pink Floyd’s The Wall. Naturally, I made a LOT of comparisons to The Wall while watching this, making me realise that apart from some imagery, the HW segments are largely self-contained. When it comes to anime, I mentioned the manga series Kara no Kioku, but they even use the opening song of Jujutsu Kaisen in this, so of course my like factor would swell. As for Japanese culture, the easiest comparison to make is playing The World Ends With You as the entire movie takes place in a twisted Shibuya, much like the game. I’m also familiar with the language. By the way, shiritori (which plays a role in this movie) is a Japanese word-game where the last syllable of the last spoken word is taken as the first syllable for the next spoken word. For example, Shibuya > yakitori > ringo > Gojira, etc. And omurice is simply omelette rice.

If you’re a fan of unconventional movies that provide unique experiences, you might enjoy this. If you’re a fan of J-rock (or Japanese rock), you might enjoy this. If you’re a fan of animation, CGI or hand-drawn, you’ll get a kick out of this one. There are a LOT of visually creative designs at play. I mentioned that it provided a unique experience even though I compared it previously to Pink Floyd’s The Wall (the movie). Though both rely heavily on music and animation, both are fundamentally very different in terms of story, pacing, and execution, so comparisons are illegible in my opinion. Despite the fact I thoroughly enjoyed myself, I have to be honest: this movie may have benefitted from having the HW segments be more relevant to the RW segments. They really got the presentation down pat, but something about the whole experience left me longing. Still a better-than-average experience that is open to interpretation though. So I feel comfortable giving this a 7/10.

Koisenu Futari (2022) (series review)

It’s somehow classified as a movie (a 4-hour one), so I guess this counts, right? There’s also an entry in Letterboxd for it at one point. Well, this is a J-drama from NHK. I normally don’t review series as it mostly tends to be very story-centric but I had a lot to say about this one. For starters, I can HEAVILY relate to the story. I didn’t see representation like this except in a few seasons of Bojack Horseman (mostly in Season 4 and a handful of episodes in Seasons 3 and 5). Since I’m on this topic, I suppose it’s necessary that I reveal (and I guess previous posts alluded to that already like this one).

I’m asexual. I didn’t choose that orientation; it’s just something I had since my youth. To sum it up, I don’t experience any sexual attraction towards any gender. I don’t flaunt the fact I’m asexual. I don’t like the fact, but I don’t hate it either. I do show support towards the asexual community. Asexuality is not the same as celibacy. According to a study in UCLA, 1.7% of the global population is asexual. It is part of the LGBTQIA+ community, notably the A part (and no, the A does NOT mean ally).

I’m also aromantic, meaning I have no definitive grasp on the concept of romance. I can objectively judge if a romance in a piece of media is necessary for character growth, but I personally don’t feel it. I can also judge if nudity is necessary in a piece of media (like in The Handmaiden (2016) where the sex scene is comedic in tone and showcases the characters’ respective personalities as opposed to Blue is the Warmest Colour where the long and gratuitous sex scenes can easily be skipped).

And now for some pros of being asexual (at least, from what I have experienced): Some asexuals will never cheat on others if they are in relationships (and yes, they CAN be in relationships, although some also believe relationships to be a headache). Some asexuals don’t have that fear of “being alone for the rest of life”. Some asexuals can objectively judge whether a romance is well-written or not in a piece of media (like Marriage Story (2018)). Some asexuals are magical beastlords who like pizza. Some asexuals are divine catgirls who will kill you without hesitation. Some asexuals have a lot of control over their emotions. Some asexuals may never experience the pain that comes with relationships ending. I may be neutral towards my own sexuality, but I will gladly identify as an aroace. Speaking of which, the characters in Koisenu Futari are also aromantic and asexual (the Japanese abbreviate it as aroma-aseku or アロマアセク). The asexual spectrum is very broad, so I’m glad the series actually addresses the multiple facets of asexuality.

So Koisenu Futari, a drama series from NHK. What do I have to say about it? Well, I’m glad that asexuality is being portrayed in media again and from Japan no less. The title itself roughly translates to “two people who cannot love”. The story revolves around a woman (who I assume is about to reach 30, character-wise) who is pressured to find a “fated someone” by both her peers and her family. She cannot relate to romance and she cannot fall in love. After finding out that asexuality is an actual thing, she started doing more and more research about it (which is something I did a few years ago too). Before that, she was pressured to pursue a heterosexual lifestyle and force herself to try to make relationships work.

After she found out about asexuality, she stumbled upon a blog, written by the other main character. The two arrange to meet and after some time, they start living with one another. In Japan, it is rather suspicious if a woman is old and single for some reason. For the male character, he agrees to it so that his nosy neighbours (and peers) would stop pestering him to get a girlfriend already. In short, both characters are pressured by the people around them to pursue a romantic relationship but unbeknownst to many, they don’t experience romance and “don’t really understand love”.

Already, the story is pretty believable (and I say this from experience). The pacing is not exactly my cup of tea, but it works (perhaps I have Spy × Family in mind). The presentation (especially the sound mixing) is rather simplistic but very effective. I admired the wardrobe, set design, performances, etc. What else is there? The music is a plus from time to time. It felt a little intrusive initially, but it grew on me after 2 episodes. There are a lot of “subverting expectations” tropes (understandable as the series directly addresses an uncommon topic… Or should I say “breaking the stereotype”?). One line is literally, “Everyone’s “normal” is different.” I genuinely laughed at many of the jokes. It was pretty quirky at times. The main male character was a standout to me, mainly because of his excessively formal, delightfully awkward, and deadpan nature. Takahashi Issey’s performance was absolutely a delight to see.

It’s not in centre as I had to use my phone camera cos I don’t know how to do TV screenshots.

As I shared a screenshot, it is worth mentioning that finding subs for this drama is rather difficult. The series concluded a few weeks ago, so finding decent subs is a rather strenuous process. I actually resorted to watching raw several times. The NHK Channel is included in my cable package. There are some streaming sites with this available. Most of the online streaming sites have an abundance of ads though. I’ve seen other streaming sites that only have the raws (as in original files with no subs). Speaking of raws and subbed, I have to talk about one other thing.

Though this series is noticeably grounded in reality, it felt anime-ish at times. It didn’t help that most TV dramas decide to use informal Japanese a lot (which is not at all common in Japan but common in anime). There were some scenes that felt that they were plucked straight out of a generic sappy SEA drama which got physical reactions out of me. There are some plot points that didn’t make sense in the grand scheme of things. To delve into those would be spoilers of course, but the most egregious one to me was in Episode 7. Why on earth would this character want this thing suddenly?? It’s not dramatic irony or anything, so did the series feel the need to add in some tropes for the hell of it? Is this just padding? I’m not complaining for the hell of it. I’m just saying it doesn’t seem too consistent.

Tropes and pacing issues aside, what else do I have to say? The series definitely has personality. I really like the chemistry between the two main leads. The pacing issues were only apparent in the first episode where I felt there were some execution issues. In the rest of the episodes, the pacing felt fantastic. There was drama and comedy. Some of the drama felt a bit off-putting though, but I was still greatly satisfied by the end of it. It was a very cosy and fun watch, very feel-good in a sense.

Overall, I really liked watching this series for both personal and objective reasons. There were a lot of things done right and handful of things were just plain wrong. Personally, I’d give this a 10/10 as it is one of my most liked series. But objectively, I would have to go with a 8, which is pretty high on my rating scale. There were some scenes that stood out to me which really felt like filler, but I’m very grateful this series aimed at educating the audience about a real-life topic that is not commonly discussed (I’m still quite shocked this came from Japan of all places) and even made an easygoing and entertaining watch as well. So 8/10.

La Influencia / The Influence (2019)

I misread this as “La Influenza” because I watched it in Spanish. I wanted to like this more… but I didn’t, mainly because the movie had 4 annoying jump-scares in the first act? Then the second act has no jump-scares at all for a while. Literally more than half the jump-scares of the entire movie is relegated to the first act. Because movie? Yes, the first act is obviously the weakest part of the film. The tone is all over the place. The second act is decent save for pacing issues, but it gets really silly at the end of it. This is not because it is supernatural or anything. It just seems inconsistent and a bit absurd. How can I take this seriously? The third act is… Well, now the child actor is in focus and… Did Neil Breen direct this? (https://youtu.be/dOV3xTJ9UgE) Remember, if you want to seem very dramatic, cover your face in blood for some reason. Can we just talk about this poster? So it’s obvious: evil little girl trope incoming. And why is the child actor always doing a frown to seem evil? It was a bit ridiculous. Do you want to make your chin seem bigger? Do you want someone to say, “That’s a pretty hateful chin,”?

No disrespect to the actor at all, but this was a less-than-subtle performance. This face was repeated ad nauseum so I just had to address it. So do I have anything positive to say about this movie? Yes. Like I said, I wanted to like it. The second act is, in my opinion, the strong act. There are some good shots, interesting ideas, decent performances, but then the third act comes around. We got peculiar acting, shots that don’t make sense, strange execution, rather goofy choreography. Everybody is very clumsy all of a sudden. Well, this wasn’t for me. This is one of the more confusing movies to rate. I’m just sure it’s between 2 and 5 out of 10, but 3/10.

Pinocchio: A True Story (2021)

“It’s our Pinocchiooooo. Hellooo brotheeeeer!” So what do we have here? From the first line of dialogue I can tell: the animation doesn’t match the line delivery. Turns out that this is a foreign movie that has been dubbed. With further research, turns out that it’s a Russian piece of media. I watched several Russian movies. A handful were pretty good, some were incredibly out-of-touch, so what’s this one then? Well, there’s a romance just shoe-horned in with something that is not even categorically considered to be called chemistry between a wooden puppet and a delightfully bland girl who can only sing and cry all the time… Oh…

I’m familiar with a lot of Pinocchio properties: the original novel by Carlo Collodi, the radically altered “fairy tale” by Disney, the abysmal dreck by Phoenix Games, etc. In all versions, there was no romance subplot. So here we go: Pinocchio, a young wooden boy voiced by a 53-year-old Pauly Shore. The jokes were everywhere on social media: the performance is “wooden”.

But really, how was Pauly Shore’s acting in this? It was… fine. It’s a beyond awkward casting choice, but it’s by far listenable… if you ignore the fact that the voice of an adult is coming from a wooden boy’s mouth. There’s one character whose voice cracks so many times and was just annoying to listen to. So if Pauly Shore sounds alright compared to another voice, then there’s something very wrong here. Pauly Shore was absolutely insufferable in things like Bio-Dome (1996) where he also had an annoying high-pitched voice that was more terror-inducing than funny. But in here… It’s fine. Too bad I can’t say the same for the movie though. Why would they wilfully subject themselves to being in this? I know a paycheck is a paycheck, but there are other methods of getting money… like prー

Not sure why the film opens up with insisting the story of Pinocchio is actually a true story (that’s even apparent in the title) and is telling its own rendition of events, claiming it’s the true story. This is a FICTIONAL story about a talking wooden puppet. Even this version has magic, talking horses, anthro foxes, the lot. How is it a true story? This reminds me of Fantastic 4orce (AKA Freedom Force or Los Illusionautas), which is also a dubbed animation from a foreign country that is trying to market itself as a true story while having a plethora of fictional elements.

I make that comparison because this movie looks very similar to Fantastic 4orce. Also, this movie goes as far as to dismiss the other incarnations of the story as “silly stories”. Regardless, I’m still excited for Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio. The original novel was pretty dark and not quite suitable for children (unless you want to show children the part where Pinocchio turns into a full donkey and is threatened to be skinned to a drum after being locked up for biting off the anthro cat’s paw off).

Long story short, this isn’t as bad as the Phoenix Games incarnation, but it’s still pretty bad. The morals don’t make sense. It feels like a mockbuster. There’s also on-screen killing in this movie for children. There’s repeated footage throughout. The animation can look like a presentation at points. It’s incredibly awkward to see romance between two characters who don’t love each other. There’s bullying because of course. There’s a ridiculously on-the-nose segment at the end that only exists because movie has to happen. There’s a father-son relationship where the son is played by an actor who is older than the father’s voice actor. “But be warned, Pinocchio. The mountain pass is believed to be by evil spirits.” Umm… “Believed to be by evil spirits”, the dialogue in both the dubbed and the subbed versions. WOT??

It’s VERY easy to hate it. It even reminds me of other pieces of media I hate. It’s not like I wanted to hate this movie. I wanted it to be better. I can tell that effort has gone into it. A movie was made. Maybe it appealed to a number of people in Russia, but it’s definitely not a great addition here. If they’re trying to hammer in the fact that it’s set in Italy, why are there many different European accents? Why are there instruments being used in scenes that are not supposed to be there? Why does Pinocchio look more plastic-y when he becomes a real boy? That’s not really a spoiler; a lot of people are familiar with the story now. The awful dialogue (there’s also reference humour fyi), some of the obnoxious audio, it is just slightly above 1/10… but it doesn’t round off to 2/10, so 1/10 it is.

Seriously though, some of the voice work is decent (unfitting as all hell but decent), the pacing was pretty standard and surprisingly not stilted, but this movie was BORING. I wanted to stop watching so many times. This was a very long watch for me. Runtime of 96 minutes, but it took me over 7 hours to watch it in its entirety due to how affably cringe-worthy it was (and I don’t use the word “cringe” a lot). I would love for a live-action man to come out and say, “What are you doing? Why are still watching this? Go home.” I would say it’s mediocre but some of the content was offensive due to how out-of-touch and on-the-nose it was. I want to defend this more but I just can’t. I’d rather watch the Phoenix Games one which is undeniably a worse venture, but at least that was entertaining. So yeah, this is a 1/10 unfortunately.

Ma Vie de Courgette / My Life as a Zucchini (2016)

I found out about this movie because I kept saying courgette instead of zucchini. That’s the story. I kept saying courgette and my mate brought this movie to my attention. Well, what can I say? It’s stop-motion. It’s charming and innocent enough, but there are some problems here and there. For example, there is rapidly flashing lighting during one scene which was quite annoying. They also incorporated a lot of stock sound effects which made me laugh ironically. And finally, the subtitles… This could be a paragraph on its own.

I think my experience would really improve if I had a copy with perfect subtitles. Oh right, I watched it on BluRay… It’s fairly charming and innocent enough but again, I need subtitles! 61! Yeah, the subtitles are less than perfect. From what can gather, there are different subbed BluRay copies out there. I just ended up with one that says, “Home is for the them.” Good thing I know some basic French because otherwise, I’d believe the subtitles and note that there is swearing when there actually isn’t. And… that’s it. The movie is short (about 66 minutes), so there’s not much for me to chew on. It isn’t technically a short but still felt like one. 6/10.

Kung Pow: Enter The Fist (2002)

MYEH…! A long time ago, I watched a certain something. I just knew that a woman with a uniboob and a weird Mufasa-like apparition was involved. Yes, I wasn’t joking about the first part. I recently searched “movie with uniboob woman” and it popped up. So what are my thoughts? Well, the first time I watched it (on 25Jan22), I hated it. Then the credits happened, revealing that most of the movie is actually the 1976 Hong Kong martial arts film Tiger & Crane Fists. Immediately afterwards (and during my first watch), I felt I was too harsh on it at some points because I never would have guessed.

The main actor for this movie, Stephen Oedekerk, acts as a character from a scene in Tiger & Crane Fists and inserts himself as various characters. The inserts have a filter that matches the visuals from the 1976 film, thus making the inserts rather seamless at points. So I geared up for a second watch (04Feb22) with this knowledge in mind (and also having watched the original Tiger & Crane Fists) and I was blown away.

Just for reference, I gave Tiger & Crane Fists a 3/10. Before the credits rolled during my first watch, I was going to give this a 3/10 as well. However, on my second watch, I ended up appreciating AND enjoying the film unironically. The movie doesn’t take itself seriously at all (this IS a parody movie after all), the soundtrack is decent, some of the jokes land whereas some are groan-worthy, the movie relishes in the fact that it’s unique and rather “badly made”.

So what are these “badly made” elements? Well, the entire film is dubbed for some reason, even though Stephen Oedekerk is fluent in American English. The joke is that a lot of martial arts movies are badly dubbed and this one pokes fun at it a LOT. In the beginning of the movie, there’s a character whose mouth moves for far too long but the only words that come out is “I don’t know.” They knew. I was even laughing at it during my first watch.

The CGI looks intentionally fake and not at all pleasant to look at. The movie IS a hard watch without the knowledge in mind, hence why I was a lot harsher during my first watch. There were many instances where footage is repeated several times. Again, this was intentional. The original movie is also heavily edited so there are scenes where there’s dialogue literally poking fun at community errors. Despite all that, there were some mistakes made, such as the reveal is during the credits only and that some of the jokes were pretty bad (even during my second watch). Though I like this, I know that it’s not perfect, and that is why I’m giving this an 8/10.

Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975)

Circle of, circle of, circle of, circle of FRIENDS! Featuring Randy from the JAR Media series! Oh, and there is a LOT of nudity in this movie. It’s not glamourous either. From what I know, the original novel was set in the 1700’s whereas the setting for this movie is in World War II. I have studied extensively about WWII and I know that a LOT of atrocities were performed during that era, so I thought the change in setting worked in its favour. I was at first applauding the fact that the movie doesn’t shy away from showing the raw (no pun intended) brutality of it all. I thought the movie was very experimental and very twisted. It was shot nicely too.

I have to mention that I was distracted by the audio. This is a movie from the 70’s so dodgy audio is to be expected. However, I’m talking about audio syncing issues. I own two copies, one with the original Italian audio track and one being dubbed in English. The Criterion copy I own (dubbed) had this stupendous delay. I could change that with my media player easily but the delay (not my settings) changed throughout the movie. The opening credits were synced perfectly well though, which caught me off guard in the beginning. There was also delayed audio in the BluRay version (Italian) so that was also distracting. It wasn’t as distracting as the English dub’s audio and the degree of audio delay didn’t change much as the movie went on.

This movie tackles various themes like psychological and physical torture, corporate greed, amatonormativity on an exaggerated scale, political corruption, sadomasochism, fascism, nihilism, debauchery, depravity, decadence, etc. I mean it’s packed with a LOT already. And I’m not even in spoiler territory (nor will I go there). I imagine it would be very hard for others to watch (especially the second act). I can appreciate the technicalities and I ended up appreciating those more than watching the movie. The movie addresses many fetishes and really messed-up themes. I cannot deny that it is a well-made film but it will make audiences feel queasy. Anyway, onto ratings then. I’m comfortable giving this an 8/10.

How I Rate Movies

The title is self-explanatory. I usually pay attention to the technical aspects of a movie, not just the enjoyment factor like most people do. I don’t think I am better than anyone and you’re not a bad person for making a review you stand by. I don’t get angry over ratings, but I am curious as to hear how you rate a certain product. I repeat, how. Like what are your thoughts on this particular product. So here’s how I rate. There are movies that I really don’t like (like Antichrist) which I give positive ratings to. There are movies I really like (Vivarium) that I give negative ratings to. I look to things like execution, pacing, soundtrack, cinematography, etc.

Of course, the story plays a main role. I don’t ask for logic in many of the movies I watch, but I do ask for consistency. I think The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (2004) is a good movie. Why do I put the year next to every movie I review? There’s the title Sing. How many Sing movies do we have? Just typing “sing” alone in IMDb will show 6 different movies that are called “Sing”. So to me, it’s rather important that there’s some distinction, so I add the years. It also makes searching easier. That and there’s no room for confusion at all.

So like I said, The SpongeBob Movie. That’s an absurdist movie devoid of logic, yet I rated it positively. If the movie is grounded in reality, I will rate according to that. Are you following the rules your universe establishes? Or are your rules only followed whenever it’s convenient for the script? So you could do this implausibly ultimate skill to defeat enemy forces, yet you only choose to do it at the end? Why? You could’ve won easily. Why did you beat around the bush for a long time? Was there character growth? Was it just because the script demanded it and there’s no reasonable explanation other than that?

If you see the movies I review, I tend to lean towards the movies directed towards adults. So are there kids movies I recommend. I rated all the Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies (2002-2007) positively. I rated Shazam! (2019) positively. I rated Wolfwalkers (2020) positively. I rated The Fox & The Hound (1981) positively. I rated Shrek (2001) positively. I rate based on a scale from 1 to 10. I normally tend to avoid 1/10 and 10/10 ratings as I see them as extreme ratings. Surprisingly, the movies I would normally avoid rewatching are the movies that I give 5/10 ratings to, so I guess I also avoid that rating a bit. Ironically, I go into every single movie I pick up with a 5/10 in mind. My expectations are not high and they’re not low; just neutral.

So what is a 10/10 rating to me? It basically denotes that the movie is perfect with no major flaws. There may be some minor flaws that are so minor to the point that it doesn’t detract from the overall experience. What is a 1/10 rating to me? A movie that doesn’thave any redeeming qualities whatsoever, keeps changing the rules whenever it suits the script, has very poor technical aspects, etc. I mentioned kids movies recently and Sing 2 is a movie I recently gave a 1/10 to. I will address both these things.

Why do I rate kids movies? Because I know that there is some good content out there and bad content as well. Would I describe The Lion King (1994) to be in the same league as Norm of the North (2016)? They’re both directed towards kids, but one is definitely worse than the other. So Sing 2. Why did I give it a 1/10? I didn’t get anything out of it, the animation was atrocious, the narrative didn’t make sense, it shared so many of the same problems that the first movie had, etc. What morals did I learn? Why were my eyes so tired after watching it? Why were the characters animals? I couldn’t answer any of these questions… except for maybe the one about the eyes. It’s most probably because so many character models were recycled throughout the movie. There were no visual gags whatsoever.

The studio even confirmed all Illumination movies were very cheaply made. So is cheapness definitely a factor when it comes to rating? No. But I do tend to consider how the budget was spent. Let me name Primer (2004), one of my rare 10/10 ratings. It’s very cheaply made (the budget of this film was only 7,000 USD), it’s a movie about time travel (which is one of the hardest concepts to tackle successfully), it has a rather confusing narrative, so why did I give it a 10/10 rating? That is not an ironic rating either. Because it was well-presented, the pacing is fantastic, there are VERY strict rules when it comes to time travel in that universe and they’re all explained in a very plausible manner, the performances and characterisation were brilliant, etc.

But just because a movie wasn’t for me doesn’t necessarily make it bad. Like I said, there are many movies I give positive ratings to that I absolutely hated, and the opposite is also true. I hated this movie. It’s really hard to watch. But is it a 1/10 though? No. I think I would be pretty unreasonable if I gave it that rating mainly out of bias. I rated most of the Illumination movies negatively. Notice that I said most. Despicable Me (2013) is a fine movie. It’s not something I would recommend, but it’s not something I’d tell people to stay away from either. It’s a fine movie. There is definitely room for improvement. Too bad all the subsequent films that came out later were abominable in my opinion.

Notice that I said opinion. This is not fact. I try to look at the facts like filmmaking, but I’m not perfect. I am not sponsored by anybody. I’m one person who genuinely likes watching movies. I take pride in the fact that I can be honest about something. So here’s a mediocre movie that is getting 10/10 ratings left and right. I think it’s fine. Not great. Not bad. And I will readily admit that. Here’s a great movie that is not getting any great feedback. Here’s a bad movie that is somehow getting great feedback. Here’s a movie I love that is getting bad review scores. Here’s a movie I hate that is getting very positive feedback. Let me share my opinion at least. I don’t pick sides; these are just my opinions.

Sweet Home (2020)

In 1989, a game was released on the Famicom titled Sweet Home. The premise was about a film crew going to an old derelict house in order to discover the fortune of its previous resident. The house is dilapidated and is in danger of collapsing. At the exit, the ghost of a woman trapped the crew inside the house. Trying to find a way out, they soon realise that the house is infested with monsters. This popularised the “survival horror” genre and this game itself would become the direct inspiration for the Biohazard series, commonly known as Resident Evil.

Why did I talk about this? Because going in, I thought it was going to be a Biohazard-type experience. Little did I know that the premise was actually based on a Korean webtoon that shared the same title. Fooled me because literally the first scene featured a zombie. I genuinely thought this was based on the Famicom game. No, it’s based on a webtoon that has the same name which also features zombies. Okay? Wait, why is this on Letterboxd again? Obviously the movie that the Famicom game is based on would be there, but I’m talking about the 2020 series. Oh well…

“That looks comical. I mean, it was well-shot… but it still looks comical.” Obviously, the story doesn’t make absolute sense… but it still makes for an enjoyable experience. The sequences, though illogical, followed the established lore very well, so that strikes me as good writing to me. I was rather annoyed at first with the whole “You’re one of them!” trope and how initially unappealing the MC was, but it gets better. I stuck around for a couple of episodes and it definitely gets better.

The performances are… a mixed bag. There are some performances that are really good and some that are just too goofy. It’s a little distracting. It’s probably the weakest aspect because I couldn’t take the story seriously at points. Aside from that, I’m glad it doesn’t really rely on jump-scares but the CG is a mixed bag. There are times that it looked okay, there are times it looked convincing, and there are times where it looked horrible. But how about the story? Well…

“These people are dirtbags. I don’t want ANY of them to win.” It was REALLY hard to relate to MANY characters. And with a huge cast of characters, that’s a bit off-putting. I mean, I CAN relate to the internal struggles some characters are facing, but I can’t really relate to the characters at all. They all feel way too overexaggerated and comical. This may definitely fit in a comic style (the original series was based off of a webtoon comic series after all) but I don’t think it translates well to television. So for the remainder of the whole series, I approached it as a comic book narrative rather than a zombie apocalypse narrative. It helped.

But as a television series, I still had issues with the presentation. One of my main gripes is that during the flashback sequences, there’s no real transition or different saturation or anything. So during present scenes, I was a bit lost whether I was watching a flashback or a current scene. There’s also a brand-new character who is exclusive to the television series. Thankfully, the scenes with them didn’t feel like padding and the series in general had great pacing. But therein lies the problem I noted with the flashbacks. This particular character has tons of flashbacks as they didn’t have the luxury of having the backstory written beforehand. That’s what I felt at least.

There were also several instances of microphone peaking. I assume more time should’ve been spent when it comes to audio mixing? Also, some of the transitions were a bit dodgy, so I couldn’t tell when scene starts and when a scene ends sometimes. It intermittently uses fast-paced editing and close-up shots to imply a frantic action scene taking place I guess, and I’m just sat there wondering what did I even witness. There are also several instances where they use licensed music repeatedly. But honestly, I’ll name some of the factors that made me continue: the performances, the pacing, the execution, the characterisation with the chemistry being a very enjoyable factor. Even the new character had something going on.

Other than the fact it doesn’t rely on jump-scares much as well as the unconventional characterisation, it felt very mainstream-ish. It’s definitely not my thing but I acknowledge it as a well-made and enjoyable binge-watch. Speaking of characters, we have quite a large roster here. So make way for “Firefighter”, “Christian Samurai”, “Bass Guitarist”, “Dog-lover”, etc. Yeah, I just named them based off their attributes. Can you blame me? Some of the names even sounded very similar at points too, like Seung-jae, Yoon-jae and Jae-hyun. I’m not too familiar with Korean culture to judge… but I still called them by nicknames. Still, it’s a very enjoyable watch. It’s not my thing, I remain neutral towards it, but I’m giving this one a 6/10.

12 Days of Christmas Movies

So I decided to watch 12 Christmas-themed movies this year, some revisits too, some are good and some are bad. Without further ado, let’s get into it. What follows are just discussions. They’re not reviews at all (although I think The Muppet Christmas Carol section could be a review).

TV Specials

I watched 3 TV specials recently, 2 were revisited. All of them are standalone experiences that are from series… somewhat. So I watched The Spirit of Christmas (1992), The Spirit of Christmas (1995) and Beavis & Butt-Head Do Christmas (1995). The unofficial subtitles for The Spirit of Christmas specials are Jesus vs. Frosty and Jesus vs. Santa respectively, and they’re also what led to the creation of South Park of all things. I don’t think any explanation is needed for Beavis & Butt-Head. None of these specials are long. 4 minutes for the first, 5 minutes for the second, and 39 minutes for the third. I was mainly on a nostalgia kick and this satisfied my cravings.

So Jesus vs. Frosty and Jesus vs. Santa. They are shockingly offensive, same goes for the series itself. But there’s something just so attractively funny about them. And given the crude animation of the early South Park content, it is rather quaint too. Well, Jesus vs. Frosty actually has very rough animation that is a good first draft. Kyle and Stan look very similar. Kenny basically has Cartman’s model… and dies of course. In both specials, Kenny dies. I guess that’s what started it to become a running gag in the series. There’s something weirdly epic about these dumb encounters. In fact, even the first episode of Season 1 of South Park (which came out in 1997) features frames of Jesus vs. Santa. I enjoyed Jesus vs. Santa more though. Jesus vs. Frosty is still a fun experience but I had more dumb fun watching the second special.

So Beavis & Butt-Head! I understand that I watched the Christmas special recently. Yeah, a little wholesome experience. This special is split into two main parts with segments in the middle reading letters from the fans by Santa Butt-Head. So here are the two main parts. It starts off with a brief retelling of Charles Dickens’s “A Christmas Carol” with Beavis as the main character. The second main part is based off of “The Greatest Gift” by Philip Van Doren Stern… or the Christmas movie It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) by Frank Capra, which is in turn also loosely based off of Charles Dickens’s “A Christmas Carol”. This second main part stars Butt-Head as the main character this time around. Each of the parts definitely have their own twists which are hilarious even if you aren’t familiar with Beavis & Butt-Head at all. Considering the fact that “A Christmas Carol” has been told so many times in media, I tend to favour the former part more. Both parts are strong of course but I just find the first part to be funnier. Maybe because I’m biased and I prefer Beavis out of the duo? Not sure. All I know is that both parts made me laugh, and I laughed more during the first part. Bumhug!

The Yummy Gummy Search For Santa

Do I really need to do this? I wrote a review about it before. So I’m part of community where we normally discuss movies. For a Christmas poll, we got the recommendations of Saving Christmas, Muppets Christmas Carol, Die Hard, A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas, The Yummy Gummy Search for Santa, and Yolki (Six Degrees of Celebration). I also recently found out from this community that Eyes Wide Shut (1999) is a Christmas movie. Interesting… So I watched the Gummibear movie and it was… 1/10.

Saving Christmas (2014)

I wrote a lengthy review of it already. The majority of the movie is told in a shot-reverse-shot format which constantly bugged me. I absolutely hated how it targets a VERY specific demographic… well, actually two. Either Kirk Cameron supporters or the people who Kirk Cameron thinks will like this (mostly ironic viewers like me). I watched it because it’s one of the lowest rated movies on IMDb. It was on my watchlist for a while even before “nathan from beneath the sink” (Halloween-themed nickname that just somehow stuck) recommended it. He’s the leader of the movie discussion community I’m a part of, and that’s where the “from beneath the sink” tag comes from. I was expecting a goofy romp judging from the poster. What I got instead was a very boring experience. It wasn’t even ironic fun. The audio mixing is terrible. It took me a long time just to get this to play properly with decent audio. I have 5 sound systems, some have very high quality, but only my regular TV speakers (which I don’t use often for obvious reasons) on maximum volume was able to output clear sounds… for the dialogue. This film is very dialogue-heavy but the moment the music kicks in, make sure your finger is on the mute button because it’s extremely loud in stark contrast. Did anyone really ask for an olden time fight scene with loud dubstep playing in the background?

A Fairy Tale Christmas (2005) / Braver (2012)

This was not on the “from beneath the sink” recommendations list but I was still curious as one of the lines used for promotion was “Most pre orders for a Canadian animation the UK”. What did that even mean? So it’s from Brightspark Productions Ltd., an animation company based in the UK, so I had the misfortune of seeing some of these “movies” by them on shelves. Long story short, I picked this up mainly because the listing on Amazon described it as (NOT DISNEY). Here, check this out if you’re curious: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Braver-NOT-DISNEY-DVD/dp/B0081S3BA4. I found it weird that it was classed as “Suitable for 15 years or over”, so I thought it would be a stupid and ironically funny rip-off of Pixar’s Brave. What I got instead is… A Fairy Tale Christmas. The animation itself is not that bad. It’s a little subpar but I can still enjoy it… if I watched it as A Fairy Tale Christmas.

I was really frustrated by the fact they literally tried to market an old movie with brand new cover art. I don’t own the movie but my mate does, that poor unfortunate soul. So the DVD is basically a bland-looking 3D-animated cover with the word “Braver” on it. Below is a quote from no one that says “THE BRAVEST PRINCESS IN ALL THE KINGDOM”. Okay… who’s being quoted? Also, the back of the DVD shows that the aspect ratio is 4:3 and the runtime is approx. 45 min. There are also no stills from the movie on the back, obviously trying to hide the fact it’s actually a 2D animation from 2005. Was this just made to be an accidental buy or something? I have to mention that Disney actually took legal action against Brightspark (https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/firm-ordered-to-destroy-mockbusters-of-disney-s-top-movies-8352016.html). What more needs to be said? Wait, why does that Amazon listing state that the movie is not discontinued by manufacturer? Oh no…

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

I have to be honest: I was a little apprehensive when I approached this. I didn’t watch it before. I know that it was released after Jim Henson passed away. I didn’t think it would be of the same quality as The Muppet Movie from 1979. Fortunately, I was wrong… slightly. Both movies got a 7/10 from me, but The Muppet Movie was closer to an 8 whereas this movie was closer to a 6. It’s still a wholesome experience but I felt much of the movie was relegated to humour from side characters. The jokes definitely did land but I felt it distracted from the main narrative a bit. I am already familiar with the main narrative but I wanted to see a twist to the formula due to this being a Muppets property (which has been done I’m thankful to report).

On a side note, I always thought The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come looked very creepy in almost every publication. It’s even synonymous with Death, being personified as The Grim Reaper in certain publications. But here? A Dark Souls boss. If unfamiliar, the player has to traverse a large thick fog to encounter a boss in the Dark Souls universe. When the Ghost of Christmas Future appeared, there was a thick blanket of fog around Scrooge and I was (and I’m not making a joke here) somewhat expecting a health bar to appear at the bottom of the screen when Scrooge says the famous line, “Dreadful apparition! Why do you trouble me??” The film is fun, probably the most fun Christmas movie I picked up that was not a special, 7/10.

A Christmas Carol (2009)

I talked about this before. I watched it quite a while ago when I was still in secondary school. I remember thinking that I needed subtitles. It’s the same story that is so very familiar. “Why do you doubt your senses?” “Dreadful apparition! Why do you trouble me?” “Then they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population!” I watched this much earlier than the rest but I feel it’s best if it is placed here as it directly follows the section on The Muppet Christmas Carol. So I gave this a 6/10. It’s obvious which movie is the better experience for me. I also subjectively liked The Muppet Christmas Carol more. I don’t rate based off my subjective feelings (except maybe ironic ratings). So what is the best A Christmas Carol rendition out there? Huh-Huh-Humbug from Beavis & Butt-Head Do Christmas. “In life, I was your partner… but now I’m some dead guy with cool chains.”

But despite all that, there are things to appreciate here. I complained about some of the needless deviations from the source material but some deviations did add some food for thought. So all the Spirits of Christmas (the ones who speak at least) are voiced by Jim Carrey doing accents. The animation is done with mocap. I’ve even seen some of the behind-the-scenes footage (just watch this, it’s absolutely hilarious: https://youtu.be/70E951wA5Tg). It must be said that this movie in rather divisive. Some people loved it. Some people hated it. The user reviews are very mediocre overall. Even reviews from businesses are polarising. I’m not quite sure what to make of that yet I still stand behind my rating of 6/10 so far.

Eight Crazy Nights (2002)

When I watched this, I didn’t review it. I just wrote, “I was going to initially compliment the animation (which looked nice at times) but I really couldn’t figure out who this was made for.” in my records. The animation looks good… rather insultingly good. I picked this up solely because of the visuals. I have to confirm that they indeed look good… but why is it paired with a very crass and obnoxious “story”? Practically everything else is bad. I gave this movie a 1/10 with good reason. I don’t give 1/10 ratings often and they’re usually reserved for properties with barely any redeeming qualities or something that is exceptionally shockingly bad. Here’s one of them.

Tokyo Godfathers (2003)

I don’t really know what to say about this one. It basically plays out like a live-action movie but with added flair (animation in this case). It is animated and directed (as well as written) by Satoshi Kon. I quite enjoyed his other works like Perfect Blue and Paprika (2006). I’m a little mixed about this movie. I didn’t even plan to rewatch it; my roommate had it on and I happened to join during the beginning. Technically, it’s a marvel. Subjectively, I’m not sure whether to like it or dislike it. I definitely appreciate it more than admire it. It definitely saw some age (notably from some of the dialogue). It tackles a lot of dark themes which came as a surprise to me. I still thought it was a pretty wholesome experience but it’s not exactly one of my favourites. I gave it a 7/10 back when I first watched it, and I gave it a 7/10 this year when I revisited it. Like I said, I definitely appreciate it more than admire it.

The Grinch Movies

Yes, this even includes The Grinch Grinches the Cat in the Hat. So what can be said about these movies? Well, I made several reviews, one of which is shared here (where I actually talk about all these properties). So what about the rest? Well, for the original short of How The Grinch Stole Christmas (1966), I gave it a 7/10 with the “review” stating “Why was this so hard to find??” For the 6/10 The Grinch Grinches the Cat in the Hat (1982), I wrote, “The original Gozilla vs Kong.” For the 4/10 How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000), I wrote, “So Mr. Grinch was a normal guy who was bullied as a child. A fallen hero denied his waifu, he turned to a life of crime to exact revenge on those who have shamed him.”

By far, the most interesting one to talk about is the Illumination movie simply titled The Grinch. A 3/10 experience, has a lot of deviations to the standard formula established in Seuss lore, weird miscasting, strange characterisation, unnerving vocal performances, etc. I absolutely hate Illumination Animation and firmly believe a shredded and buff Minions character to be the stuff of nightmares. But I think there’s room for improvement. I didn’t watch every Illumination movie out there. The Grinch is the latest one in their catalogue among the ones that I’ve watched. It’s definitely a step in the right direction, so I can at least discern that the company is getting better. It’s still not a great movie but it’s not as big of an insult as another Illumination Animation movie, The Lorax (2012).

Yolki: Six Degrees of Celebration (2010)

I know this is technically the 15th on the list (and 10th section overall) but I wanted to reference the “12 Days of Christmas” song. This is more of a New Year’s movie than a Christmas movie but there still are elements of Christmas. Literally one major plot point centres around Santa Claus. I watched it here: https://youtu.be/qByiksac8dU. My only complaint is majorly the subtitles. The video and audio quality is great. The presentation is better than average. The plot deals with people in 11 different cities in Russia. I thought it would be a bloated experience with a rather confusing narrative. The narrative IS a bit confusing at times but thankfully, those times are very few. For the most part, it’s followable. The pacing is really good too. I laughed genuinely several times. It’s a pretty wholesome and humble comedy. It’s a 6/10 in my book. Closer to a 7 than a 5.

P.S. The subtitles in the video are soft-subbed so if you decide to download the whole movie off of YouTube in order to avoid ads every 5 minutes (which I imagine is a lot of people), there will be no subtitles.

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

I think I’m cheating with this entry. I actually watched it for Halloween but since it’s also technically a Christmas movie as well, I guess this counts as well. That and I somehow watched it on December. It satisfied my post-Halloween vibes and Christmas was right around the corner too. It’s difficult to say anything about this movie that hasn’t already been said. What’s this? WHAT’S THIS? The music’s very catchy. What’s this? WHAT’S THIS? Great and memorable designs. What’s this? WHAT’S THIS? It’s animated in stop-motion which is incredibly charming! What’s this? WHAT’S THIS? WHAT IS THIIIIIISS?? I gave it an 8/10. It’s an 8/10 back then and an 8/10 now.

Die Hard (1988)

I surprisingly didn’t see this one before, maybe because I wasn’t even born yet when this came out. I remember playing the PS1 game and that was it. I wasn’t even sure which movie the game was based off of. So Die Hard, the movie that started it all. What do I think of it? Well… It’s… fine? It’s definitely not my thing as it has a LOT of tropes. They hammer in the whole Christmas theme so many times for starters. There are also a lot of instances of “You have a gun. You want to kill this person. Why don’t you shoot?” and “But the cops don’t work that way.” We even have plot shields, intrusive musical cues, weird acting from the side characters at times, accented villains, what else? Oh, and no one knows how to properly aim guns except the main characters. Great. This is an already bloated movie that is 132 minutes long. I was exhausted by the amount of padding that was added due to these tropes. I will not lie: the movie looks great for a 1988 movie (although the opening logo looked terrible… doesn’t exactly bring my hopes up when it comes to first impressions). I was also a bit annoyed that the MC swore way too much whereas everyone else (including the villains) don’t swear that often. That was rather off-putting. Not that I’m against swearing but it was a bit too excessive. Like the situation doesn’t exactly call for it. Read the room. Oh yeah and the whole “but the cops don’t work that way” trope literally takes up around an hour. So I had to deal with these back-and-forth shenanigans constantly. By the end of it, I felt the Christmas theme was just tacked on and because of the length and all the tropes, I don’t really want to revisit this one at all. I can see the appeal but it just wasn’t my thing. 5/10.

Oh and just for reference, Blade Runner came out 6 years before this movie, it’s action, and I still rewatch that movie regularly. There wasn’t much depth for me to chew on here. It’s an action movie, decent choreography, decent shot composition, it’s got a lot of annoying tropes, I can easily follow it, we got static characters who are rather interesting to watch due to the performances (notably Alan Rickman), and… that’s it? I was mostly annoyed by the length and the padding added due to the tropes though. Again, 5/10.

Conclusion

I didn’t specify a rating for all the movies in the list, so here is what I recommend (recommendations with an asterisk indicate offensive content…): The South Park Christmas Specials*, Beavis & Butt-Head Do Christmas*, The Muppet Christmas Carol, A Christmas Carol (2009), Tokyo Godfathers, How The Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) and Yolki. A Christmas Carol (2009) and Tokyo Godfathers are definitely acquired tastes though. If you’re really curious to see the rest, I think some of the full movies are available on YouTube.

Well, this marks the end of a year as well as this glorious “sacrilegious fuckfest”. Happy Holidays, one and all. There are a couple of movies that I wanted to revisit though I didn’t have the time. It’s not like I go out of my way to watch Christmas movies. It’s not even a holiday I celebrate. I acknowledge it as a time for togetherness and gratitude. I did go to several gatherings for the occasion. So I say “Happy Holidays” to account for all occasions. And as this year is coming to a close, I have to say “Happy New Year” as well.

Oh and since New Year’s is just around the corner, I recommend watching Yolki, which is a New Year’s movie.